Preflight

Thesis: Flying coach sucks big ole’ King Kong size balls

1) I’m almost six feet tall.  I squeeze in my upper body by planting my ass in sideways and then don’t know what to do with the rest.  Once I slid down, sat on the floor, and rested my head on the seat, thinking that would be roomier.  It wasn’t.

2) I’m a woman of a certain age, which means that I become aware of body parts hitherto unknown via excruciating pain.

3) Food has a distinct cardboard texture and flavor (I fly kosher though I’m not Jewish.  Airplane kosher food tastes like much higher quality cardboard.  You’re welcome!).  I tried not to eat at all on transoceanic flights but I get really hungry when I’m bored.

4) No individualized video screens with like a million channels, which means I get stuck watching Eat, Pray, Love and consider becoming spiritual.

5) About five hours into the flight, minuscule little boxes called lavatories run out of tp and need cleaning.  Flight attendants don’t care.  They’re too busy refilling the fragrant hand lotion selection in business class.

One may argue that flying sucks in general, but in my twenty years of travel, I got upgraded to business class once and none of the points above applied.  NONE!

Conclusion: We do not live in a classless society.